Yesterday I was reading my statistics textbook and came across a quote. I often overlook the little blurbs of speech, but happened to read this one. I was pleasantly surprised at the lack of statistical jargon, and even more surprised that my statistics textbook got me thinking deeply about life. The quote was…
Grown-ups love figures. When you tell them you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you, “What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?” Instead they demand: “How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much does his father make?” Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him
-Saint Exupery
The first thing that struck me about this quote was the truth of it. Sure the actual questions are usually different, but the motive behind them is the same. I can’t think of a time I told my parents about a new friend and they asked about something other than a figure at first. Admittedly, they are not as harsh as this quote portrays adults, but they do in fact ask logistics. Our conversation about a new friend rarely goes further than “what is his/her name?” or “where does he/she live?” I am not judging my parents, or adults, for asking for figures at first introduction of an individual; I am simply curious as to why this is.
I question whether this preference for figures is limited to adults. I can think of examples of myself, and others my age, asking the same questions as adults when a new person is brought up in conversation. However, also upon reflection, I feel as though those conversations quickly develop into the “essential matters.” In my experience, younger individuals are more eager to talk about the deeper aspects than adults. Of course, there are exceptions to this observation; this is just me generalizing across age groups to support Saint Exupery’s claim.
One exception to this claim is actually one that we have all experienced. In fact, I wrote one of my first blogposts about it. The fact that I blogged about it illustrates how out of the ordinary it was for me to witness an adult interested in something other than figures. In this sense, this exception to the claim actually supports it. Remember those name games Beth made us participate in at the beginning of the semester? And how she paused class just to ask us our majors, in other words our interests? I had never had a professor so interested in the students as individuals. On the contrary, I have had numerous professors interested in figures: assigning grades, giving deadlines, reviewing a syllabus, etc. I understand that is what a professor is expected to do, it was just refreshing to have the “essential matters” incorporated into the “figures.”
Upon reflection of this quote I realized one thing for sure: I do not want to become obsessed with figures. It is too easy to fall into that trap. My GPA, weight, number of friends, amount of money I make, etc can seem like the most important things about me, due to the fact that I feel judged on those measures. My goal is to always value the essential matters, even as I become an adult.