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As it stands I am a Biology major with a pre-med track here at SUNY Geneseo. It is my greatest aspiration to become a doctor. In my opinion, many people go into medicine for the wrong reasons. There motivated by money and status. Sadly those who go into it for the right reasons are often under-resourced and lack the means.When I say “I want to be a doctor,” I say it because of my ardent belief that I want to dedicate my life to the care of others. I am privileged to have learned my passions at an early age. Don’t get me wrong there are many people who feel the same way. There are multiple ways of helping other people that do not involve medicine. I have personally decided to be a doctor because I feel it is the best way I can make a positive difference in this world. I genuinely believe my talents lie in treating patients.

I understand I have picked a particularly hard path.There are other ways of treating patients. There are so many options that range from nursing to therapy. I have thought of the other options. It is not entirely impossible for me to change my mind and pursue one of those other options. I hope to be a doctor because of the fact that I would be able to treat multiple people every day. In my experiences as a CNA, I’ve learned that you can do a lot of good by having prolonged interactions with your patients. Believe me, that is meaningful, but it is also limiting the amount of disease I can eradicate. Through my experiences in health care both as a CNA and EMS, I discovered a greater appreciation for life, particularly the delicate balance in maintaining it. When I finish college I plan on going to med school. My interest and knowledge in medicine have only grown with time. I hope to reach my aspirations and affect as many lives as I can within my own.

I told myself that wasn’t going to wait until midnight on the 30^th to do finish these posts but… here I am.  I have a huge problem with procrastination (as you can tell from the abundance of blog posts) and this assignment did not help that at all.  Granted we had all semester to do them and we are being graded on how well we space them out but that didn’t fix my habit.

At first, I wasn’t too worried about the assignment because I had the same type of work assigned to me in high school.  We were given prompts and we had to choose from a list of about twenty prompts to answer.  So, when Dr. McCoy first told us about these blog posts I thought it would be like my previous experience, I could not have been more wrong.  She didn’t give us anything, no prompts, no heads up on what we could or couldn’t write about.  She gave us total freedom and that scared me.  I thought that needed to know what I had to write to get a good grade.

My first blog post was a disaster, it was cluttered, rushed, and didn’t make much sense.  I remember thinking to myself, “she can’t give me a poor grade because there are no guidelines, no help”.  I didn’t know what she wanted from me so how would we know how to receive a good grade?  She left comments on that first post so, for the next post I followed them with the hope of receiving a better grade.  I received a higher grade, but it was still one that was no where close to where I wanted to be.  I kept trying and trying but I never knew what to write about.  Up until recently, I was very frustrated with myself and the assignment.

I hadn’t realized until my sixth blog post that this assignment helps us as writers to look back on our work and mark the progress that we have made.  For me it has been a place to vent, for others they use the blogging space to make sense of what we had just discussed in class or compare something that they had previously experienced.  Now that these blog posts have come to a close, I can reflect on the semester that I have had as a writer.  I can document my improvement throughout the semester and reaffirm my growth.  Although I did not see the purpose of the blog posts at the start of the semester, I now see the benefits and they are very refreshing.

Leadership has played a great role in my life. Most people believe leadership is synonymous with authority over others. A leader is someone who is willing to make sacrifices it if it means the betterment of their community. In my life, I have had many role models who have gone out of their way to give me direction. I am very grateful for all their help as I surely would not be where I am without assistance. The sacrifices we make on the behalf others to ensure the good of the commonwealth is, in my opinion, the most defining characteristic of a leader. A leader must have the willingness to assume responsibility for a difficult situation. It’s easy to take credit for the good but it’s another to accept the blame for the bad. As humans we are not infallible, therefore we need leaders who can maintain order in times of doubt.

Great leaders dedicate themselves to a life of service Service is the active process of creating change that benefits the community. Service is a very important part of my life. I believe we are all as strong as our weakest links, therefore we should all take steps to help one another. In Geneseo, I observe the practice of service through my work in Geneseo First Response(GFR). GFR for those unfamiliar is the on-campus EMS service coordinated and perpetrated by students. In doing so I play an active role in maintaining the safety and well-being of all Geneseo community members. It has given me the opportunity to create a real difference in the lives of those around me. We can all contribute to the service of others if we take the opportunities allotted to us.

 

Lastly, a leader must have the ability to empower. I think of empowerment I think of education. There is nothing more empowering than seeking out an education. Advocating for the education of oneself and others is extremely important. The learning process is continuous,  the quest for education is a lifelong journey. It is my personal mantra that if armed with the proper knowledge we are capable of achieving any goal we can imagine, and or reach any level in society that we dare to aspire to despite the expectations of others. Education gives access to a world of limitless possibilities. Nothing in this world will keep one from obtaining their goals if well educated. There is nothing more empowering than that.

One of my favorite things about joining Geneseo First Response has been picking up a new identity. People come up to me saying “I didn’t know you were a GFR”.  Not “I didn’t know you were apart of GFR.” As if it is my whole being is summed up in that acronym. I’ve come to terms with my identity as “A GFR”. When you wear the uniform you embody the role of the organization. I am fortunate enough to a part of GFR. GFR for those unfamiliar is the on-campus EMS service coordinated and perpetrated by students. In doing so I play an active role in maintaining the safety and well-being of all Geneseo community members. It is a rewarding experience as well as a taxing one. When on duty for 12-24 hours I am prepared to uproot my daily activities for the benefit of others. This includes possibly missing instructional class time which is to my detriment. I am happy to do it if it means a safer campus. It is very probable that you may one day need an ambulance at one point or another. It is my sincere hope most of you never have to utilize my services.

I am unable to mention specifics of my work and it’s beneficiaries due to the HIPPA laws. I will say that GFR has had a profound impact on the lives of everyone in Geneseo, myself included. Everyone at some point in their time here will be affected if at all at least indirectly by the work my colleagues and I do. I have benefited so much from my work at GFR. I have gained so much practical experience in the career I intend to pursue. It has given me the opportunity to create a real difference in the lives of those around me. Academically it has been very sobering. Life is not to be taken for granted. That is becoming more and more apparent. Now more than ever I am dedicated to making the most out of my education. It also helps to have good role models with similar mindsets and aspirations.

Since before middle school I knew I wanted to be a doctor. In high school, I knew I could start gaining some experience in health care. I was lucky that my Anatomy & Physiology teacher recognized my dedication to medicine. She introduced me to the Geriatric Career Development (GCD) Program. Though GCD I was able to obtain certification as a certified nursing assistant (CNA). GCD exposed me to what it truly means to be a healthcare provider. Through the program, I was able to gain a lot experience in patient care. I am blessed to have had that opportunity at such a young age. Most people only become CNAs when they go to seek full-time vocational training at a community college. I was able to do it in high school without taking a gap year. I learned many things about the intricacies of human interaction.

I was able to see amazing things in the nursing home I worked in. I worked in the physical and occupational therapy and rehabilitation floor. It was a very sobering experience seeing people some of which were athletes who have lost their ability to move. There was a young woman about my age now who was almost completely paralyzed due to meningitis. There was a 36-year-old biology teacher who was a single father trying to get back to his daughter. Those are some of the types of patients I helped treat. I also worked in the Alzheimer’s and dementia unit. The contrast between the two so different. One one hand you have people desperate to reattain their normalcy. On the other, there are people who are so far gone lost in their fragmented memories the can no longer function.  

As a CNA you play a vital role in the care of elderly and or injured patients. We help care for the essentials, giving dignity to those who can not care for themselves. Caring for someone’s basic needs is a very intimate thing: feeding, ambulation, perineal care are all essential tasks I performed. The practical training and real-world experiences have been an invaluable step in realizing my goals. When patients are admitted to a nursing home, they tend to be defensive. They are often not there of their own volition but rather familial pressure. People are prideful, which makes them unable to come to terms with their physical and mental decline. I have learned that acceptance is a gradual process, and we must show compassion to those seeking it. Through my experience as a CNA, I have learned not only the value, but the difference compassion can make when healing the sick. Above all I learned how to be objective, providing equal care to all in spite of racial hostility, disability, or mental illness. I learned that despite age or background or sexual orientation we are all people who long to be cared for and reassured by a sense of security.

Well, we have reached the end of classes for this semester, and I can’t say that I’m not glad they’re over. It’s not something I really would have thought about at the beginning of, or even throughout the semester, but after reflecting on it now, I definitely have growth as a writer, a student and even a person. After taking classes such as this one, after presenting research, after writing papers I have definitely changed in way that I can recognize within myself. All of these things have allowed me to better realize my strengths, and especially my faults. I’m well on my way to fulfilling learning outcomes prescribed by the GLOBE, fulfilling the colleges vision and adhering to its values, as well as adhering to my own. In some ways I have become a better writer, and a better critical thinker; in other ways not so much. But what is most important to realize, what I have realized, is that like writing, becoming a better person is a process. It’s not something that’s quick, and it’s not something that’s easy, it takes hard work and dedication, but it does happen, and it is achievable. If there is anything I will take away from this class, or from college at all, it’s that I always have the potential to be a better version of myself, I just have to put in the effort.

As part of every college students curriculum are general education requirements. These usually take the forms of history, english, science, maths, a language, arts, and humanities. Many students tend to see these as obstacles preventing them from learning what they came to go to school for. For example, last semester I had to take both creative writing and film studies to fulfill fine art requirements. Neither of those classes were ones that I would have chosen to take had I any real choice. They were also not classes that I really enjoyed. I would have much rather taken classes relevant to my career path, like astronomy or anthropology. Why then do we take these classes? To fulfill the outlines of the GLOBE and row as students. There is a reason Geneseo is known as a liberal arts college, because all of its students must be versed in a variety of topics. By taking these classes, learning a variety of topics, and meeting and interacting with a variety of other students, we can only hope to grow as students and people.

I remember just how excited I was when I got the email. “Congratulations you have selected you to become a probationary member of SUNY Geneseo First Response. Welcome to GFR!” I was in utter shock. 135 applicants and I was one on the 13 to make the cut. Me a lowly freshman. There are people who apply every semester until their senior year and never get the opportunity. Somehow I got in. I was practically skipping. It may not have been the most prudent thing to do, but I wanted to tell the world. I was really excited. I told my RA “I got into GFR”. His response was “I love eating there”. I was so confused. My first thought was we don’t serve food. In my excitement, I completely forgot the restaurant existed. I clarified “Not Geneseo Family Restaurant. Geneseo First Response.” We laughed it about for a while. Then he congratulated me. I told all my friends I got in and they were all happy for me including the ones who didn’t get in themselves.

I felt I was on top of the world. Things were great. However, I found myself relating to Chipman’s The Power of Realistic Expectations “Think about starting a new job. You’re trying to figure out the landscape. It was a really competitive search. You feel fortunate to have gotten the job, but then you’re really worried about whether you’re going to fit in. What happens if you stumble? We all make mistakes on the job” I realized the achievement gap is a mental battle more than anything else. Like in most of Geneseo I find myself an outlier in GFR. Not many people look like me. In fact, I am the only Hispanic male in the organization. I began to feel doubt in my abilities. I’ve reached my goal of getting in, but what about fitting in? Getting in is only half the battle. How do I prove my worth? What if I mess up? If I do I reflect badly on more than just myself. I know it may be irrational, but what if I’m just a test run. Could I harm someone else’s chances of getting in? These were all thoughts circulating in my mind.

 There is no need to feel uneasy. The thing that no one tells you when you stand out is that it doesn’t necessarily paint a target on your back. Much of what you may fear is only in your mind. As I took more shifts and got to know everyone a bit better my fears dissipated. My mentor is super supportive and I get along with just about everyone.

Something that I heard a lot about college during high school was how much different classes are. Upon entering college I had come to expect to be furiously writing down everything my professors said, and reading textbooks for hours on end. Luckily, that has turned out not to be true, by and large classes are still very similar to that of high school. Granted, there are still a lot of notes to take, and there’s much less in class socializing, but most class periods feel very much the same. Although, I will say that having classes scattered throughout the day, unevenly throughout the week has taken a while to get used to. Instead of having just seven straight hours of class, classes may sometimes have hours in between. The one thing that stands out in my mind as living up to the ‘hype’ is that no one cares what you do or if you even go to class. That, combined with being expected to manage your time and homework effectively on your own is very different. Sure, in high school we were expected to do our homework and manage time effectively, but that was usually for only a few days in advance. Now, there is less homework, but we’re still expected to understand the material as well as if there was. I’m currently enrolled in art history, a class that has no homework, and no textbook reading. Final grades are only determined by three tests throughout the semester and that’s it. If we as students had that kind of schedule in high school, I  believe that many of us would be unable to handle it. As it goes know, this added responsibility is something else we have to deal with, weather we want to or not. In that sense, that sounds like very good practice for the real world, sometimes we have to deal with things we’d rather not. Other times (all the time) we’re expected to manage time effectively, because failure to do so can have grave consequences. 

Rob Urstein’s quote, “intelligence, rather than being a fixed trait, is something that grows over time and can be developed with effort” from Ian Chipman’s article “Realistic Expectations” has been the theme for me as I worked through this course. Without sounding too full of myself, I usually pick up on things quickly. However, this class was totally different because the writing process takes time and I wasn’t ready for it. I went into the class with very little training and still expected to go from zero to one hundred without much work. In turn, I got frustrated and started making excuses when I wasn’t making the progress that I had hoped for. Excuses such as “it’s hard to balance everything”, “I am not interested in this class”, “I have better things to focus on”, “I will never need this ever in life”. When I got my final grade back for the “Bloodchild” essay I was not pleased. I thought I had done a good job, granted the grade was not horrible but I thought I has earned a better grade. The comments that were left were problems that I thought that I had fixed. I tried to rewrite the essay to the best of my ability and I really tried to make improvements, but nothing was working. On top of that, the in-class activity that we were doing was making me even more frustrated. I was ready to give up. I was putting the “effort” in that Urstein talked about so why wasn’t I getting better?

I have played sports my whole life and practice has always made perfect. I always enjoyed improving the way that I played. The feeling of achievement that I had after I mastered something that my coaches had told me that I needed to work on was amazing. Although I would still get frustrated that I was not getting the hang of it right away, I still worked hard at it. Why was it so different when it came to school? I understand that school is very different from sports, but the concept of growth is still the same. So, I compared my struggle the writing process to my development in sports.

My softball coach once said to our team, “once a coach stops yelling at you, they have given up on you”. She meant this as if coaches are hard on you, they see potential and believe that you are capable of so much more. My coach (Dr. McCoy) recommended things that I could do differently to improve my writing. These recommendations were not meant to hurt me, but they were left to help me. Dr. McCoy saw potential in me which is why she left those comments. Although she did not yell at me, Dr. McCoy believes in me and therefore was hard on my writing and left constructive criticism with the hope that I will improve.

Through all my frustration that I have been feeling, Urstein’s concept can also be directly related to real life situations—not just sports. I have three more years of school, so I know for a fact that I will encounter other classes like this one that frustrate me and that I won’t want to take. In the real world too even after college, I will have tasks at work that frustrate me that I’ll have to work harder than others to master them. When I start a family, being a mom is hard and it takes a while to get the hang of. But that’s something that I can’t just get frustrated with and quit. My comparison of Urstein’s quote to sports and life helped me to understand that it takes multiple tries to get the hang of something. It requires both time AND effort.