In class a few weeks ago when we were talking about “The Power of Realistic Expectations”, it made me stop and think about my own experiences at college. One part of the conversations that really stood out to me was the fact that so many of us have so many other outside influences affecting our experiences at Geneseo and in our daily lives.
I’ve struggled a lot my first year in college. It hasn’t been easy, for any of us. But, for this moment I’m going to share with you my experience and then maybe you can share with us.
My senior year of high school my parents told my brother and me that they were getting a divorce. Soon after, my dad moved out and I don’t see him hardly ever. When summer rolled around my mom let us know that we were moving. Leaving my home, my friends, my town, was probably the hardest part of it all. I knew I would have to leave eventually when I went to college, but it all came so quickly and before I knew it I was 30 minutes away from everything I loved. I work at Wegmans and commuting 30 minutes to work everyday didn’t make much sense so I also had to transfer stores. Not only did I have to transfer stores, but leave behind my managers and coworkers I had grown to know and care about.
Now came the time that I had to leave for college. Summer was over and growing up was coming, whether I liked it or not. I’ve always been a mommas girl and leaving my mom was probably the hardest part of it all. Move in day came and I feel like it all went fairly smooth (if anyone doesn’t know, Gianna is my roomie).
The first few weeks of school hit me like a ton of bricks. No matter how prepared I thought I was, I wasn’t. Since I can remember, I’ve struggled with anxiety. But, when school started my anxiety sky rocketed and I started feeling lower and lower as the days went on. It started becoming harder to get out of bed and force myself to go to class. Nothing seemed interesting and I felt alone. Soon I found out that I had depression… dun dun dun.
Once I figured out that I was depressed, everything moved fairly quickly. My mom got me appointments with different doctors and I started talking to a therapist weekly. I started feeling better and feeling more and more like myself again. It’s an everyday struggle, but theres so much I have to experience and hiding out is not an option. I’m still not completely 100%, but being able to do things and not always be in bed has been such an improvement.
There’s a lot going on in people’s lives that we don’t know about. Before we all jump to conclusions, get to know people. Know their struggles, before you walk away and judge. I hope my story makes at least one person reading this feel better about a struggle they themselves have dealt with. Theres always a solution and people supporting you, you just need to accept the help.