As freshman year comes to a close I’m going to take this last blog post to reflect on my transformation as a writer. In my last blog post I mentioned how I can see the growth in myself as a writer but I did not expand on it. As I also mentioned many times before that I have struggled with my writing because I have had very little experience and I didn’t have much confidence in my ability as a writer.
My experience as a writer is not one to brag about. Throughout grade school I wasn’t a bad writing student but the classes that I had to write for were my lowest grades. I also didn’t think that I needed to make drastic changes because my teachers did not give helpful feedback pertaining to the way that I write. I mentioned how I had never had a proper lesson in grammar or punctuation. The little experience that I did have were not ideal writing either. Growing up in New York State we are all accustomed to the standardized tests (shiver). Personally, these standardized tests have taught me how to follow instructions or write to fulfill a list and how to write an essay in under 120 minutes. So obviously this course was a huge change in direction for me and my previous writing experiences. Because of this gap in experience, I did not have the amount of confidence that I should have had.
I struggled with comparing myself to others through our writing. I would read other peoples blog posts and hear what they had to say in class and think, “Wow, that is so smart, why didn’t I think of that”. During the group project, I didn’t know what to say half the time and when I did think of something, I was terrified that it would sound dumb or the other people in my group wouldn’t agree with me. I didn’t think that my voice would matter because I didn’t have as much experience as some of my classmates. It was not until Dr. McCoy explained that the writing process takes time and that I am going to struggle and that it is okay to be in a different place in my writing career as someone else.
I truly think that through this course I have developed as a writer not only in the way that I write but the way I think of myself as a writer. I was given the freedom to write about what I wanted and was able to practice my writing; because of this my confidence in my writing has gone up drastically. I have finally realized that the writing process cannot be mastered at the press of a button. I must thank Dr. McCoy for helping me build my confidence, staying patient with me and truly push me to do my best. If she hadn’t, I truthfully would not have become the better writer that I am now.