As I sit here writing my last blog post, I’m looking back at my first blog post and have realized how far I have come. Even though it’s my tenth blog post I’m still somewhat stumped what to write about and have been procrastinating for about an hour now. I’ve always been a procrastinator, I even procrastinated on my blog posts. Continue reading “The Common Issue: Procrastination”
Aaaannnd Done (Last Minute What a Surprise)
As freshman year comes to a close I’m going to take this last blog post to reflect on my transformation as a writer. In my last blog post I mentioned how I can see the growth in myself as a writer but I did not expand on it. As I also mentioned many times before that I have struggled with my writing because I have had very little experience and I didn’t have much confidence in my ability as a writer.
My experience as a writer is not one to brag about. Throughout grade school I wasn’t a bad writing student but the classes that I had to write for were my lowest grades. I also didn’t think that I needed to make drastic changes because my teachers did not give helpful feedback pertaining to the way that I write. I mentioned how I had never had a proper lesson in grammar or punctuation. The little experience that I did have were not ideal writing either. Growing up in New York State we are all accustomed to the standardized tests (shiver). Personally, these standardized tests have taught me how to follow instructions or write to fulfill a list and how to write an essay in under 120 minutes. So obviously this course was a huge change in direction for me and my previous writing experiences. Because of this gap in experience, I did not have the amount of confidence that I should have had.
I struggled with comparing myself to others through our writing. I would read other peoples blog posts and hear what they had to say in class and think, “Wow, that is so smart, why didn’t I think of that”. During the group project, I didn’t know what to say half the time and when I did think of something, I was terrified that it would sound dumb or the other people in my group wouldn’t agree with me. I didn’t think that my voice would matter because I didn’t have as much experience as some of my classmates. It was not until Dr. McCoy explained that the writing process takes time and that I am going to struggle and that it is okay to be in a different place in my writing career as someone else.
I truly think that through this course I have developed as a writer not only in the way that I write but the way I think of myself as a writer. I was given the freedom to write about what I wanted and was able to practice my writing; because of this my confidence in my writing has gone up drastically. I have finally realized that the writing process cannot be mastered at the press of a button. I must thank Dr. McCoy for helping me build my confidence, staying patient with me and truly push me to do my best. If she hadn’t, I truthfully would not have become the better writer that I am now.
My Aspiration in Life
As it stands I am a Biology major with a pre-med track here at SUNY Geneseo. It is my greatest aspiration to become a doctor. In my opinion, many people go into medicine for the wrong reasons. There motivated by money and status. Sadly those who go into it for the right reasons are often under-resourced and lack the means.When I say “I want to be a doctor,” I say it because of my ardent belief that I want to dedicate my life to the care of others. I am privileged to have learned my passions at an early age. Don’t get me wrong there are many people who feel the same way. There are multiple ways of helping other people that do not involve medicine. I have personally decided to be a doctor because I feel it is the best way I can make a positive difference in this world. I genuinely believe my talents lie in treating patients.
I understand I have picked a particularly hard path.There are other ways of treating patients. There are so many options that range from nursing to therapy. I have thought of the other options. It is not entirely impossible for me to change my mind and pursue one of those other options. I hope to be a doctor because of the fact that I would be able to treat multiple people every day. In my experiences as a CNA, I’ve learned that you can do a lot of good by having prolonged interactions with your patients. Believe me, that is meaningful, but it is also limiting the amount of disease I can eradicate. Through my experiences in health care both as a CNA and EMS, I discovered a greater appreciation for life, particularly the delicate balance in maintaining it. When I finish college I plan on going to med school. My interest and knowledge in medicine have only grown with time. I hope to reach my aspirations and affect as many lives as I can within my own.
The Impossible Year
When I was in high school, I received spectacular grades without studying, and most things came with ease. I had taken several advanced placement (AP) courses and did well on the exams. When I arrived to college, I felt as if things would not be as difficult as they became. I am truly the first in my family to have the real “college experience.” The getting accepted, going away, dorming and having a suite of my own so I could have a taste of living without my mother for the first time.
Despite my excitement and how movies portrayed college life, the first semester proved to be harder than I anticipated. My social life was thriving but academically, I thought I was more ready. Having a very detailed syllabus with all assignments throughout the semester and way more weekly online assignments than in high school was a shock.
I had never done well with mathematics and the sciences. I never had an aptitude for the subjects, but I began to despise them as soon as the common core was implemented in my high school. I was silly enough to sign up for contemporary biology during orientation thinking it would be like my high school living environment class which I passed with ease. I began to struggle with a major required class as well: microeconomics. I feel as if no one told how hard or math intensive it would be. I did not know how to really ask for help because I had never needed it in high school. I felt almost scared to ask for help because it was my major, I thought I should be handling it. If I could not handle it, I felt as if I did not deserve to be in this major. If could not get past a small obstacle like this how was I supposed to travel abroad and help others?
The truth is, because of my actions, I was placed on Academic Probation this semester. I was so ashamed initially. I felt as if I failed myself, my family and the college. When we began modifying the academic probation letter and trying to connect with how the recipients would feel when they received the letter, it was not difficult for me. In a way, it hurt to see the letter again but changing its language and the presentation of the letter became sort of rewarding for me.
I do not want others students to feel the failure and shame I felt when I received it. I do not want them to feel alienated from the other students, to be on a different “status.” Modifying the letter so future students would not feel inferior was crucial to me. I felt like this whole semester I had to keep the secret that I was on academic probation from all my friends. I am really close with my suite, but they had no idea. I felt as if I had to hide everything because people would be shocked and act differently towards me. I imagined they would say: “you? This must be wrong” or “how? You’re such a smart girl” or “you’re joking, right?”
My story however is not a sad one; it is one of resilience.
I worked as hard as I knew I could and put forth my best effort to change bad habits that had nearly dragged me down. I recall us discussing in class intelligence is not a set thing rather it is something that grows with you. My GPA by the end of this semester will be well above the required 2.0 and it has not been an easy road.
When I was first introduced to GLOBE, it meant little to nothing to me. I did not really see the significance and I did not think it would really impact my life. Throughout this semester I believe I have found out the true purpose of GLOBE and how it will stay with me for the rest of my life. I had to realize GLOBE did not ask us to be flawless robots incapable of error, and it does not demand perfection of each student. They want individuals. GLOBE emphasizes the growing process. The growing process is certainly not without fault, and it is full of mistakes and lessons, but the most important part is learning from the experiences and obstacles.
The Truth Behind College
Most students enter college with the goal of earning a bachelor’s degree and continuing their education beyond high school. But are students actually developing and gaining any real-world skills by attending college? The content taught in college-level courses can be quite difficult to master and most students don’t retain much of the information that they learned in their college courses. That late night cram session, where you had to memorize the whole general education Biology class material taught in the semester seem as though they have no significance in your life once you have finished taking the final exam. However, the critical thinking skills and experiences gained from the class will have impacted students beyond the classroom. Developing these skills is crucial for success in the workforce. Geneseo’s GLOBE claim that “Geneseo prepares students for twenty-first century challenges through the development of intellectual and practical skills that transcend boundaries and are applicable throughout our lives.” Geneseo is a liberal arts college and students are required to take different general education course that can allow them to explore the variety of courses offered at Geneseo. I think if a student is undecided or unsure of what to major in, Geneseo allows for students to dip their toes in the water and experience different course that can assist them in choosing a major. Continue reading “The Truth Behind College”
Consent and the Classroom
I recently was rereading part of Octavia Butler’s “Bloodchild.” It reminded me of our classroom discussion earlier in the semester of consent. When we hear consent I think we automatically consider it in a sexual manner, and this course changed my perspective on this. The formal definition of consent is: “permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.” Yet I had never considered it in my education.
There are many new rules, regulations and programs that are implemented throughout ones primary education. In high school I recall when common core was introduced in my Freshman year. No one ever asked about how the students felt, whether the common core or the old method is better for students. I realized I had little to no control over my education. Everybody in my high school despised the common core, and even the teachers were scrambling learning how to teach the new and hasty program. Several teachers expressed their dissent with the program with the students and yet, it was implemented in my high school although no one seemed to like it. This reminds me of my point in my “Bloodchild” essay that there is an education hierarchy. In this hierarchy, each person is hounded from those above. Although teachers may not believe a program is the best for the students, they have a duty to administrators and institutions. Teachers often must listen to those above them because they have no choice. I argue that institutions are flawed in my essay and the weaker groups must have a voice for a more efficient system.
It reminds me of “Bloodchild” because the Preserve was established years before Gan was born, a system that he forced into. He did not consent to participate in this institution however it is expected of him to follow the rules and be a willing participant. T’Gatoi represents the “teachers/faculty” in this system. She has power however she is still subservient to the Tlic officials above her, as faculty are to administrators. “Bloodchild” is not only a commentary on the relationship between students and faculty but their relationships to institutions as well.
Procrastination At Its Finest
I told myself that wasn’t going to wait until midnight on the 30th to do finish these posts but… here I am. I have a huge problem with procrastination (as you can tell from the abundance of blog posts) and this assignment did not help that at all. Granted we had all semester to do them and we are being graded on how well we space them out but that didn’t fix my habit.
At first, I wasn’t too worried about the assignment because I had the same type of work assigned to me in high school. We were given prompts and we had to choose from a list of about twenty prompts to answer. So, when Dr. McCoy first told us about these blog posts I thought it would be like my previous experience, I could not have been more wrong. She didn’t give us anything, no prompts, no heads up on what we could or couldn’t write about. She gave us total freedom and that scared me. I thought that needed to know what I had to write to get a good grade.
My first blog post was a disaster, it was cluttered, rushed, and didn’t make much sense. I remember thinking to myself, “she can’t give me a poor grade because there are no guidelines, no help”. I didn’t know what she wanted from me so how would we know how to receive a good grade? She left comments on that first post so, for the next post I followed them with the hope of receiving a better grade. I received a higher grade, but it was still one that was no where close to where I wanted to be. I kept trying and trying but I never knew what to write about. Up until recently, I was very frustrated with myself and the assignment.
I hadn’t realized until my sixth blog post that this assignment helps us as writers to look back on our work and mark the progress that we have made. For me it has been a place to vent, for others they use the blogging space to make sense of what we had just discussed in class or compare something that they had previously experienced. Now that these blog posts have come to a close, I can reflect on the semester that I have had as a writer. I can document my improvement throughout the semester and reaffirm my growth. Although I did not see the purpose of the blog posts at the start of the semester, I now see the benefits and they are very refreshing.
True Marks of a Leader
Leadership has played a great role in my life. Most people believe leadership is synonymous with authority over others. A leader is someone who is willing to make sacrifices it if it means the betterment of their community. In my life, I have had many role models who have gone out of their way to give me direction. I am very grateful for all their help as I surely would not be where I am without assistance. The sacrifices we make on the behalf others to ensure the good of the commonwealth is, in my opinion, the most defining characteristic of a leader. A leader must have the willingness to assume responsibility for a difficult situation. It’s easy to take credit for the good but it’s another to accept the blame for the bad. As humans we are not infallible, therefore we need leaders who can maintain order in times of doubt.
Great leaders dedicate themselves to a life of service Service is the active process of creating change that benefits the community. Service is a very important part of my life. I believe we are all as strong as our weakest links, therefore we should all take steps to help one another. In Geneseo, I observe the practice of service through my work in Geneseo First Response(GFR). GFR for those unfamiliar is the on-campus EMS service coordinated and perpetrated by students. In doing so I play an active role in maintaining the safety and well-being of all Geneseo community members. It has given me the opportunity to create a real difference in the lives of those around me. We can all contribute to the service of others if we take the opportunities allotted to us.
Lastly, a leader must have the ability to empower. I think of empowerment I think of education. There is nothing more empowering than seeking out an education. Advocating for the education of oneself and others is extremely important. The learning process is continuous, the quest for education is a lifelong journey. It is my personal mantra that if armed with the proper knowledge we are capable of achieving any goal we can imagine, and or reach any level in society that we dare to aspire to despite the expectations of others. Education gives access to a world of limitless possibilities. Nothing in this world will keep one from obtaining their goals if well educated. There is nothing more empowering than that.
Being on GFR
One of my favorite things about joining Geneseo First Response has been picking up a new identity. People come up to me saying “I didn’t know you were a GFR”. Not “I didn’t know you were apart of GFR.” As if it is my whole being is summed up in that acronym. I’ve come to terms with my identity as “A GFR”. When you wear the uniform you embody the role of the organization. I am fortunate enough to a part of GFR. GFR for those unfamiliar is the on-campus EMS service coordinated and perpetrated by students. In doing so I play an active role in maintaining the safety and well-being of all Geneseo community members. It is a rewarding experience as well as a taxing one. When on duty for 12-24 hours I am prepared to uproot my daily activities for the benefit of others. This includes possibly missing instructional class time which is to my detriment. I am happy to do it if it means a safer campus. It is very probable that you may one day need an ambulance at one point or another. It is my sincere hope most of you never have to utilize my services.
I am unable to mention specifics of my work and it’s beneficiaries due to the HIPPA laws. I will say that GFR has had a profound impact on the lives of everyone in Geneseo, myself included. Everyone at some point in their time here will be affected if at all at least indirectly by the work my colleagues and I do. I have benefited so much from my work at GFR. I have gained so much practical experience in the career I intend to pursue. It has given me the opportunity to create a real difference in the lives of those around me. Academically it has been very sobering. Life is not to be taken for granted. That is becoming more and more apparent. Now more than ever I am dedicated to making the most out of my education. It also helps to have good role models with similar mindsets and aspirations.
Tales of a Young CNA
Since before middle school I knew I wanted to be a doctor. In high school, I knew I could start gaining some experience in health care. I was lucky that my Anatomy & Physiology teacher recognized my dedication to medicine. She introduced me to the Geriatric Career Development (GCD) Program. Though GCD I was able to obtain certification as a certified nursing assistant (CNA). GCD exposed me to what it truly means to be a healthcare provider. Through the program, I was able to gain a lot experience in patient care. I am blessed to have had that opportunity at such a young age. Most people only become CNAs when they go to seek full-time vocational training at a community college. I was able to do it in high school without taking a gap year. I learned many things about the intricacies of human interaction.
I was able to see amazing things in the nursing home I worked in. I worked in the physical and occupational therapy and rehabilitation floor. It was a very sobering experience seeing people some of which were athletes who have lost their ability to move. There was a young woman about my age now who was almost completely paralyzed due to meningitis. There was a 36-year-old biology teacher who was a single father trying to get back to his daughter. Those are some of the types of patients I helped treat. I also worked in the Alzheimer’s and dementia unit. The contrast between the two so different. One one hand you have people desperate to reattain their normalcy. On the other, there are people who are so far gone lost in their fragmented memories the can no longer function.
As a CNA you play a vital role in the care of elderly and or injured patients. We help care for the essentials, giving dignity to those who can not care for themselves. Caring for someone’s basic needs is a very intimate thing: feeding, ambulation, perineal care are all essential tasks I performed. The practical training and real-world experiences have been an invaluable step in realizing my goals. When patients are admitted to a nursing home, they tend to be defensive. They are often not there of their own volition but rather familial pressure. People are prideful, which makes them unable to come to terms with their physical and mental decline. I have learned that acceptance is a gradual process, and we must show compassion to those seeking it. Through my experience as a CNA, I have learned not only the value, but the difference compassion can make when healing the sick. Above all I learned how to be objective, providing equal care to all in spite of racial hostility, disability, or mental illness. I learned that despite age or background or sexual orientation we are all people who long to be cared for and reassured by a sense of security.